The following site contains material that may be unsuitable for certain audiences. This site contains my personality which has been determined to cause skin failure in mad scientists, math teachers, and Michael Jackson. If you suffer from a personality disorder, viewing of this site is not advised. If you have a personality disorder, but love every minute of it, it is recommended that you bookmark this site. If you don't have a personality disorder, but would like one, overexhaustive viewing of this site is recommended. If you don't have a personality disorder and don't care to have one, you're too late so you might as well view this site anyways. Members of the Rush Limbaugh Fan Club, Burger King Kid's Club, or any boy bands are restricted.
Oh, and if you're a David Duchovny impersonator, please leave your name and number after the tone.